Broken hearts suck. After an almost-three-year stint with my ex (a great guy in fact), we decided to part ways over mutual differences and the need for me to grow, see the world and rediscover myself. Slightly heartbroken, it was hard to think of travelling without a partner by my side. I did not think that I would become (and be so proud of) who I am today so soon after the split.
Looking back at the ups and downs of that few weeks post-mortem, I realised that the only reason it has been so incredibly easy to move on is that I am so happy travelling. Travelling can literally cure a broken heart. It is true.
There is something about landing on the tarmac of a city you have never seen, that burst of excitement when you enter your hotel room and those initial conversations with like minded travellers that make you forget EVERYTHING. I decided pretty quickly once we split that instead of being completely alone in these weeks, I needed to be on a group tour and meeting new people. I joined up with a Topdeck tour of Spain and it was the best decision I have made to date (I also have a few new best friends).
In the first few days on tour, I met some great people. I was able to talk about what was going on and all those silly emotions, but most of all, I had other things to think about. All these people I was speaking to were reminding me every day how brave it was to be travelling solo and getting on with life, not dwelling on it and crying in bed. The main thing to remember here is that you will only be upset if you let yourself be. If you isolate yourself, sit around eating or drinking your issues away, it will only make things much worse.
I realised I can make friends on my own.
Distraction and excitement are the best remedies for severe heartache and it will allow you to gather your thoughts and decide on your next move. These great people, who helped me heal and get an insight to myself, are the reason I am doing so bloody well today (and they don’t even know it!).
I then moved to Germany with a new and exciting career path and big challenges ahead.
I realised it is time to put myself first.
Don’t get me wrong, completely distracting yourself from how you are feeling is not the idea here, you need to feel the pain and go through the motions, but trust me- time will FLY by when you’re on the road and soon you will be thinking, “wow we broke up three months ago already?!” and all those emotions will be a distant memory. Plus, you could meet a sexy Italian on a beach in morocco and never look back!
I realised it is okay to be immature, spend money and not think about my future (sometimes)
The thing about relationships is that you start planning for a big bright future together that may or may not be realistic. In doing this, you start losing sight of what is important- living in NOW. Once I let go of the fact that having a house, car and dog were no longer in my 3 year plan, it was a complete release. I could spend money on me, I could land myself in debt and pay it off later, all in the name of discovering myself (totally worth it).
Moving forward with my new lease on life, I had one final revelation
I realised I don’t need a relationship to be loved.
When you have been in a long term relationship, with that one person you depend on so much, you tend to forget who else really, truly cares. My girls, my Parents, my Grandmother and my new friends all care so unconditionally for me, you don’t need a cuddle buddy to make you feel warm, you just need them. Travelling brings out the love. You are no longer able to pop on over and have a home cooked meal or text your bestie to see a movie with you, which means you have to really COMMUNICATE. The most amazing thing about that is, you get to tell each other how much you miss and love each other, all the time. We often forget, especially growing older, to do this, so having such a fundamental change in your life will allow you to open your heart to the ones who truly matter.