How to be an Australian

Ever wanted to be true blue Aussie? Here is how…

  1. Eat an Aussie BBQ (sausages, steaks, bread as a roll, tomato sauce)
  2. Go to the beach and get sun burnt
  3. Slur your words together- ie. “hello how are you” turns into “hayhowarrya”
  4. Wear ugg boots with track pants in winter
  5. Drink Victoria Bitter beer (VB)
  6. Say prawn not shrimp (on the barbie)
  7. McDonalds is Maccas.
  8. Arvo is afternoon.
  9. Understand that we don’t have kangaroos or koalas as pets
  10. Getting attacked by a shark is actually possible
  11. Know how to swim
  12. Have no idea about basic Australian History- 80% of the country wouldn’t pass our own citizenship test
  13. We generally don’t give a shit about fancy brands… sorry Calvin Klein
  14. Wearing no shoes and just your bathers is acceptable within a 1km radius of any beach
  15. We don’t have 24 hour shopping malls in most cities… we are too lazy for that. So shop only in the 9am-5pm time slot.
  16. We have the worst grammar in the world. Fact- I just had to use spell check for the word grammar.
  17. We are about two years behind the rest of the world with any major technology breakthrough. Our internet is one of the slowest systems in the world!
  18. You buy wine in 4L bags called ‘Goon’ sacks. This is the bogan way of drinking alcohol
  19. A bogan is a really Australian, slightly alcoholic, singlet wearing, mullet haircut kind of guy. I guess you can compare them to a slightly homeless looking (but rich), cowboy- that has every characteristic of a typical Australian!
  20. In general… don’t care too much about anything and you are a true Aussie!

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